This week on WHITEBALLOON INSIGHTS we loved hearing from Gayle Routledge, founder of A Child of Mine and organiser of the National Bereaved Parents Day, which takes place this Thursday 3rd July.
Q: Hello Gayle, can you please start by telling us a bit about your journey to creating A Child of Mine and why you feel it is such an important community and support.
A Child of Mine was born from the most heartbreaking experience imaginable: the death of my 2 year old son Lewis in 2010 to cancer. When Lewis died, I felt completely lost and isolated. There was a real lack of immediate, accessible support for bereaved parents. I quickly realised that if I was feeling this way, other parents must be too. I wanted to create the community and resources I desperately needed at that time – a safe space where parents could find understanding, practical guidance, and a sense of not being alone in their grief. A Child of Mine is so important because it fills that void, offering a lifeline to parents helping them navigate the unimaginable pain of child loss. We provide a place where their grief is acknowledged, validated, and supported, helping them to find a path forward.
Q: Thursday 3rd July is National Bereaved Parents Day, organised by A Child of Mine. What are the key messages you wish to highlight on this day and the different ways that people can get involved?
National Bereaved Parents Day is a day to unite all bereaved parents from all walks of life and our message is clear, that we want to keep the conversation going that sadly babies and children do die, and it is okay to talk about it. This fits in perfectly with our theme this year “together we are stronger”. We established this day 5 years ago after realising there wasn’t a day that brought together every bereaved parent and we wanted to address this and try and break the taboo. We want to engage the bereaved parent community by sharing stories, lighting a candle and raising awareness.
We have created special ‘NBPD’ gift boxes that can be purchased and sent to a bereaved parent. These boxes contain an awareness pin wristband and a beautiful, crocheted heart, to offer a little comfort. It’s a lovely way to show someone you’re thinking of them. Simply talking about the day and the importance of supporting bereaved parents helps to break the silence and stigma around child loss.
Q: You have some really helpful resources and information on the A Child of Mine website, including details of national support groups. Can you tell us about these, and the support group for young adults that you recently set up in Staffordshire.
Our website, achildofmine.org.uk, is a comprehensive hub of resources. We understand that every grief journey is unique, so we’ve gathered information covering various aspects of child loss, from practical advice to emotional support. We list details of national support groups because finding a local community can be incredibly beneficial. These groups offer a space for parents to share their experiences, learn from others, and realise they’re not alone.
A recent and very important addition to our services is the adult child loss support group we’ve set up here in Staffordshire. We recognised a significant gap in support for those who have experienced the death of an adult child. Their grief can often be overlooked or misunderstood within their peer groups. This group provides a safe and understanding space for them to connect with others who truly ‘get it,’ helping them to navigate their grief journey with peer support and guidance.
Q: You also provide support and talks for healthcare professionals and for conferences and study days. What format do these usually take?
We are deeply committed to improving the care and support bereaved parents receive, and a crucial part of that is educating healthcare professionals. Our talks and support for healthcare professionals, conferences, and study days typically take a blended format. We combine personal testimony with practical advice and evidence-based information.
I often share my own story to illustrate the profound impact compassionate and knowledgeable care can have. We then delve into topics such as: effective communication with bereaved parents, understanding the complexities of grief, and how to provide immediate and ongoing support.
These sessions are interactive, often including Q&A segments and discussions to ensure healthcare professionals feel equipped and confident in supporting families through such difficult times. The goal is always to build confidence with these professionals when they are working with a bereaved family.
Q: A Child of Mine is such a wonderful and much-needed charity, what are the different ways that people can support the work that you do?
We are incredibly grateful for any support we receive and especially as we do not have a steady income stream, we rely purely on the community to support our work. This support directly enables us to continue providing vital services to bereaved parents and there are several ways people can help:
Donations: Financial contributions, no matter the size, are always welcome and make a direct impact. You can donate through our website.
Fundraising: People can organise their own fundraising events, from bake sales to marathons, to raise money and awareness for us.
Volunteering: We rely on the dedication of our volunteers for various tasks, from administrative support to helping at events.
Spreading the word: Simply sharing our mission and resources with others who might benefit, or on social media, helps us reach more families in need.
Corporate Partnerships: We’re always keen to explore partnerships with businesses who align with our values and want to support a meaningful cause.
Every single act of support helps us to reach more parents and ensures they don’t have to walk their grief journey alone.
Q: Are there any particular books, or other resources, that have helped you on your own grief journey?
In my own grief journey, I’ve found comfort and understanding in various resources. One book that deeply resonated with me is “It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand” by Megan Devine. Her honest and direct approach to grief, challenging societal norms, was incredibly validating. Another resource that I often recommend, particularly for understanding the ongoing nature of grief, is the concept of “Continuing Bonds”, which explores how we maintain a connection with those we’ve lost. While not a single book, understanding this concept has been profoundly helpful. Ultimately, connecting with other bereaved parents who truly understood my experience was and continues to be the most invaluable resource.
Q: And finally, do you have a hobby or favourite pastime that helps you to unwind and re-charge?
Given the intensity of the work we do at A Child of Mine, finding ways to unwind and re-charge is essential. For me, I find immense peace and release in running and going to the gym. It helps me to unwind and release difficult emotions when working with families, it is my bit of therapy.
If you would like to get in touch with A Child of Mine, please go to their website at A Child of Mine or call 01785 785 819.