Grave Tending

Tending a Grave & Maintaining a Memorial

Visiting a grave or memorial in the months and years following a bereavement is, for many, an important part of the grieving process, and can help people to feel close to their loved one.

Tending the area and keeping the memorial in good condition can be a way of continuing to show how much they love, honour and remember their special person.

Looking after a grave and maintaining a memorial can include cleaning the headstone or memorial, placing or planting flowers, weeding and trimming the grass, and placing a message, maybe on an anniversary or special date.

Who is Responsible for Looking After the Grave?

Family and Friends Tending the Grave

Grave tending is often undertaken by family or friends. However, if someone is unable to tend their loved one’s grave, maybe due to geographical distance, time limitations, illness, or because they find it too distressing at that time, there are people and organisations that can help.

If people are cleaning and looking after the gravestone themselves, they should ensure that they choose the right products. Harsh chemicals and bleaches can damage the stone. Gentle, biodegradable detergents that are suitable for the type of stone should be used.

Professional Grave Tenders

Some cemeteries offer grave tending services, or find professional grave tenders in the Grave Tending & Memorial Cleaning of our Provider Directory.

Grave tending services vary, but most professional grave tenders offer a one-off service or regular maintenance. They can wash and polish the headstone and lettering, clean and polish flower vases and other ornaments, and remove debris or replace chippings. They can also ensure flowers or other items are still in good condition, replacing old flowers with fresh arrangements. Family or friends can receive ‘before and after’ photos, which is lovely and can bring a sense of connection.

When choosing a grave tender, particularly if they are cleaning the headstone, ensure that they know what products to use to ensure the stone isn’t damaged, and that they have the appropriate insurance cover.

Whoever undertakes the maintenance, it can be a great comfort to know that the grave is being lovingly taken care of and kept clean and tidy.

How whiteballoon Can Help

Our Inspiration page, Grave Tending & Memorial Cleaning has ideas and images, or if you are looking for someone to clean, maintain or tend a grave or memorial, please see Grave Tending & Memorial Cleaning in our Provider Directory.

Details of Providers, plus items and images from our Inspiration pages can be saved to a personalised Ideas Folder in our Planning Tools section. All our Planning Tools are free to use. Just Register to securely save information to your folder.

This can be printed out and, if you wish, shared with family, friends, your celebrant or funeral director.