This week on WHITEBALLOON INSIGHTS we hear from Steve Game-Blackmoor of Last Rites about his holistic approach to supporting the bereaved, before, during and after the funeral.
Q: You have many years of experience, both in bereavement support and as a funeral officiant. We would love to hear about this and how it has shaped the service you offer today?
I’m in my 25th year. I’ve loved every minute.
My academic and pastoral background has been deeply influenced by my lifelong affinity with the Christian faith. Trained by the Church of England, I gained a unique combination of theological education and practical experience. This has equipped me with a deep understanding of grief and loss, allowing me to provide comfort, support, and guidance to those who are facing bereavement.
My personal experience of grief has further fuelled my passion for helping others navigate through their struggles. Despite now having left the church, I continue to pursue a calling that drives me to offer solace to the brokenhearted.
Since having engaged with scholars in the field of bereavement, attending seminars and workshops, and conducting research I have worked hard to broaden my knowledge on best practice.
After leaving the church in 2017, I wanted to offer a service that holistically embraces those who are grieving, from the very early stages, to the months and years beyond the funeral; one that also offers a holistic approach to helping families create a farewell ceremony that uniquely represents their person while also serving their own needs. A service that also more than competently delivers the ceremony for them on the day.
25 years of practical experience working directly with individuals who are grieving, has been a complex journey. Years of providing a safe space to allow others to express their emotions, process their feelings, and find ways to cope with their loss.
This hands-on experience has been invaluable in honing my skills as a compassionate supporter, and wounded healer.
Q: You believe very much in a holistic approach, supporting people before, during and after the funeral ceremony. Why is this so important to you?
I am convinced that this comprehensive method is essential for providing comfort and healing to those who are grieving. By addressing the emotional, spiritual, and physical needs of individuals throughout the entire funeral process, we are able to offer a more meaningful and impactful experience.
Supporting people before the funeral ceremony allows us to establish a foundation of trust and understanding. It gives us the opportunity to listen to their concerns, fears, and hopes, and tailor our services accordingly. By doing so, we can create a personalised experience that truly honours the life of their loved one.
During the funeral ceremony itself, it is crucial to provide a supportive environment where individuals can express their emotions freely and feel surrounded by love and compassion. This not only helps them cope with their grief in the present moment but also lays the groundwork for future healing.
Lastly, offering support after the funeral ceremony is equally important as it helps individuals navigate through their grief journey in the days, weeks, and months following their loss. By providing resources for counselling, support groups, or other forms of assistance, we can ensure that they continue to receive the care they need as they adjust to life without their loved one.
Q: Have you seen a change in recent years in the types and styles of funeral service that people are choosing?
As our society continues to evolve, so do our preferences for how we honour and remember our loved ones. Traditional funeral services are no longer the only option, as more people are opting for personalised and unique celebrations of life.
Customisation is becoming increasingly popular, with families incorporating personal touches such as favorite songs, photos, and memories into the service. This allows for a more meaningful and individualised experience that truly reflects the life of the deceased.
Furthermore, eco-friendly options are also gaining traction, with many individuals choosing green burials or cremations to reduce their environmental impact. With sustainability becoming a growing concern for many people, it’s no surprise that this trend is on the rise.
There has been a noticeable change in the types and styles of funeral services that people are choosing in recent years. Whether it’s through customisation or eco-conscious decisions, individuals are definitely seeking more personalised and meaningful ways to celebrate the lives of their loved ones.
Q: A dragonfly is the emblem for Last Rites. Does this represent something special for you?
July 14th this year marked a significant milestone for my wife and I – 21 years since losing, Katie. She was only 6 years old when she lost her battle with glioblastoma, a devastating form of brain cancer. I have seen firsthand that the pain of losing her is something that never truly goes away, but we have found comfort in the symbol of the dragonfly.
The dragonfly has become a powerful memorial symbol for us, representing hope, change, and love. Inspired by Doris Stickney’s Waterbugs and Dragonflies, the dragonfly has brought us solace in our grief and serves as a reminder of Katie’s spirit that continues to live on in our hearts.
The dragonfly logo has become not just a personal symbol for me, but also a representation of my mission to bring hope in the face of adversity. It serves as a beacon of light in dark times and reminds me that even in the midst of tragedy, there is always room for growth and transformation.
Q: It is wonderful that you offer funerals for pets too. Feelings of grief and loss for a beloved pet can be just as deep, so being able to have a ceremony must be a great comfort for people?
As a pet owner, I understand the deep bond that can form between a person and their furry companion. Pets become members of our families, providing love, companionship, and support. When we lose a pet, the grief and sense of loss can be just as profound as when we lose a human loved one.
That’s why I believe it is wonderful that there are now options available for funerals and ceremonies for pets. Being able to honour and remember our beloved pets in a formal ceremony can provide comfort and closure during a difficult time.
Offering funerals for pets acknowledges the importance of these animals in our lives and validates the feelings of grief that come with their loss.
Q: At present, you are based in Staffordshire. Would you like to expand your service so that you can reach people in a wider area?
By prioritising a quality service for the people of Staffordshire, we can more easily set a standard for excellence for local people, but I’m always very keen to encourage others to adopt a similar model in their own locality.
We have worked hard provide a comprehensive website and blog that enjoys an excellent readership. This way we can reach people beyond the Staffordshire district.
Q: And finally, do you have a favourite hobby or pastime that helps you to switch off and unwind at the end of the day?
I find relaxation in the simple pleasures of reading, listening to classical music, and indulging in musical theatre. These activities transport me to different worlds and allow me to escape the stresses of my work.
One of my favorite pastimes is curling up with a good book and getting lost in its pages. Whether it’s a classic novel or a contemporary bestseller, reading allows me to immerse myself in captivating stories and explore new ideas.
Listening to classical music is another way I unwind. The soothing melodies and intricate compositions help me focus and calm my mind after a long day.
And when I’m in the mood for something more vibrant and theatrical, I turn to musical theatre. The energy and emotion of live performances never fail to uplift my spirits and leave me feeling inspired.
Lastly, being a devout James Bond fan brings me immense joy. Watching the suave spy navigate dangerous missions while maintaining his cool demeanor is both thrilling and entertaining.
These activities are not just hobbies for me; they are essential ways for me to relax, recharge, and find joy in the midst of intense work pressures. Whether it’s through literature, music, or film, I am grateful for the moments of peace and pleasure that these pursuits bring into my life.
Thank you Steve for your insights.
If you would like to find out more, please visit the Last Rites website.